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Being Prepared – The Sex Kit

May 8, 2012

Istockphoto.com/Talaj

Istockphoto.com/Talaj

From what we have gathered so far, the swinging life is fraught with peril. Therefore, a prepared swinger is a satisfied swinger. There is nothing worse than leaving hot sex to chance. Ever played Monopoly and picked up a “Chance” card?  Usually, it’s not in your favor,  so get ready before you get busy. After all, you don’t want to get all worked up just to find you don’t have the right tools for the job. Besides, a well stocked sex kit is really something to brag about. Unlike your sexual prowess.

The Sex Kit is the single most important physical tool outside of the ones that are attached to your body. In it, you should have what you need to make sure the pre-sex, sex, and post-sex goes as smoothly as possible. And I mean SMOOOOTH. When building your Sex Kit, think about the times when you’ve had sex and you wish you had something: it could be wipes, qtips, condoms, hair trimmer, towel, water, etc. Now, include things you wish your partner had taken care of : those could be deodorant, breath mints or spray, hair trimmer, douche. Now, include things that you wish the couple (or single) had brought along: candles, money, peppermints, condoms, sense of humor, etc. All of those things – and more -you want to bring with you in your kit.

I’m going to describe three kits you should build and have ready to go at a moments notice. Some of these items I gleaned from other blogs and some I pulled just from observance. These kits are comprehensive, but if you think I should add something to them, let me know in the comments.

The Primer

This is the basic kit. It fits in a small pouch and you can throw it in your front seat without having to explain where you are going on your trip. Easy to carry to the room and  it’s quick to pack.

Item Why you need it
Hard candies Sometimes, some people will leave a bad taste in your mouth. Rather than spoil the moments by telling them (unless that’s what you want to do), suck on the candies to rid your mouth of the gunk.
Condoms Include various styles and sizes. You may have someone small, or you may have someone large. Be ready for both and have a lot. Include non-latex as well.
Lube Rather than spring for a bottle of lube, buy individual lube packets. You can usually find these at a sex toy store. They take up less space, they are disposable, and you won’t have a bunch smegma or other crud on your community bottle.
Wipes It’s good to be able to clean up w/out the shower. Just make sure they are sewer safe.
Razor Trim it up before the sextivities (see what I did there? sex + festivities = sextivities. These are the jokes, kid.) so no one gets a hairball in their mouth.

The Overnighter

This is for the serious folk. If you plan on remaining overnight, this kit is for you. Put it in a toiletries bag.

Item Why you need it
All of the things in The Primer
Cock-rings You can include cock-rings in the primer if you have room. Cock-rings are miracle workers; they hold the erection longer and they come in various sizes. Very handy for overnighters. If your rings are reusable wash them thoroughly before and after use.
Non-Latex gloves Sometimes necessary (hang nails, cuts on the hand, etc.) and always useful.
Eye-drops Trust me on this one.
Portable electric razor Substitute the regular razor for this one. Thoroughly wash it before and after.
Combination Pad Lock Good for the club or if your partners are hot, but shady.
Ziploc or Bio-Waste bags (Doggie doo bags are the best because they usually come in various colors and in a small roll) Don’t leave your mess out for the cleaning crew or the next guest. C’mon man!
Coin purse (small) Carry a few dollars and coins for amenities or a cab.
Breath mints, gum, tooth brush, mouthwash, or breath spray Have that kissable mouth even after sucking on genitals.
Small or finger vibrators “Cums in handy” is what I say.
Q tips Last minute cleaning in tight spaces.

The Kingpin

This is the Kamehameha of the kits. It requires a small suitcase for all of the stuff you will be hauling. I debated on calling this kit “The Roadie” because that is what you will be if you haul this around.

Item Why you need it
All of the things in the Overnighter
Toys Include some for her and him. Don’t forget the batteries like you did last time either. Idiot.
Cleaning solution for the toys Keep them clean during the event. Divine Caroline has some great tips on how to keep these things clean.
Spare clothes (include underwear and sandals) The “Walk of Shame” is called that because you should be ashamed to wear the same clothes the next morning that you wore the night before. Bring a change of clothes for both of you.
Throw-away face or hand towels Wipes don’t get everthing. When they don’t, then it’s time to bring the next step up. Don’t be afraid to toss them unless you collect soiled towels. Pervert.
Semi-firm pillow(s) Works good to prop the parts up if you get my drift.
Plumeria If you don’t know what this is you are missing out. It is sold as a gel or a powder. If you can get an actual flower, kudos! It’s mother natures aphrodisiac for both men and women. It is one of the best smells ever. I don’t normally wear cologne, but I will put small traces of Plumeria lotion on my wrists and neck. Drives ’em wild.
Candles Smoke ’em if you got ’em. Scented candles can add to the mood or help you see in the dark. So, yeah.
Water I can’t tell you how much of a thirst sex works up. Also, water is better for pre-sex as alcoholic drinks tend to dull the senses.
Snack & Pills Keep your viagra close and your girl closer for obvious reasons. Also keep some bananas and/or trailmix around if you get the munchies.

So that’s it! Tell us what you think we should include and I’ll run it by our panel of experts and see if we can put it up. Thanks for reading.

~Blink Spunk and Mercy Bordeaux

2 Comments leave one →
  1. DO NOT POST NAME PLS permalink
    May 11, 2012 12:45 pm

    Who are the panel of experts?

    • blinkspunk permalink*
      May 11, 2012 1:58 pm

      Friends and players in our local clubs, fellow bloggers (see our blogroll) because everyone has their take on this, and a friend who teaches biology and sexual philosophy at the local college. If you have more, send me an email at blink.spunk@gmail.com and I’ll add it to the list and give you credit. Of course, we will be discrete and not post your email or name.

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