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The Unbearable Lightness of Swinging Part One

July 31, 2012

Blink here. Originally, this post was really about a bad, bad night the wife and I had over a month ago. Through many redrafts coupled with some hurts and angers, I decided not to write about that experience – writing about it wasn’t cathartic enough – and instead, I’ve decided to write about some lessons learned in the life style. Hopefully, they may help you as tremendously as they have helped us.

1) Say what you mean and mean what you say – Everyone’s time is short, including your own. Don’t be a flake if you can help it. If you have to cancel or will be late, make sure to give people plenty of time to change plans. Apologize profusely. Even though the lifestyle can be salacious and loose, things happen and people are people and deserve respect.

2) Be Prepared – My wife and I carry a toiletries bag. In this bag (sex kit) we carry what we need to help in our play. Extra condoms, lubes, lotions (cocoa butter is a must!) and a few toys. This thing has been a life saver, especially when the other couple has forgotten their stuff or has brought minimal supplies. Unfortunately, I almost NEVER see others with their own bag and that’s a shame. Play times are much more fun when you are ready for them.

3) Do not talk about Fight Club – There’s a time to talk about the lifestyle and a time not to. Learn when are the best times. You would be surprised at the number of people that do not want to talk LS outside of clubs, parties, or play times. They switch it off. They will be the horniest people in the LS but the most tame outside. Use good judgement.

4) Do not talk about Fight Club Participants – Like most social clubs, people talk – about each other. You will be talked about in the LS and you will talk about others as well. Keep it to a minimum because word travels. I learned this lesson the hard way with a bad play date. I talked to one person about how bad it was and it got back to the original couple. Now we see this couple around and they refuse to talk to us – which is fine. I honestly don’t care, but I wished it had not have happened the way it did.

5) Always ask if you can touch – Seriously. I don’t understand why men or women feel that they can put hands on without asking.

6) Do not talk about a game that doesn’t exist – You can spot the guys  with cock performance issues. While that’s not a deal breaker, it does take the fun out of having a guy talk about his game and then not deliver. Some guys just have difficulty, I do sporadically, but I don’t talk about my game like it’s the best stuff on Earth. You can woo women in much better, longer-lasting ways. 😉

7) Say thank you, be humble and gracious – This goes for the women too. Someone just let you play with their mate, man. Don’t climb off and throw your rubber on the girl (didn’t happen to us, happened to another couple) or slap the guys dick because he went limp when your pussy ran dry (again, not us honest). Don’t call the guy lame because he couldn’t get hard for you (happened to me). Things happen, be gracious when they do. These are human being as well.

8) Always communicate – Communication, I can’t stress enough, is the key to a good play time. Tell your playmate what you like and don’t like before, during and after coitus. Have the patience to let them try to get it right. You may not be as  easy as you think.

9) Focus on your success and the success of your spouse – There is nothing worse than one of you “taking one for the team.” Watch out for each other in the bedroom, give your playmates clues as to what your spouse likes. If they are worth it, they will listen. Otherwise, handle that business.

10) Have an emergency plan – There is an unrealistic assertion by people in the lifestyle that they are “Drama Free.” We see so, so many cookie cutter profiles with those two words, that it has become ridiculous. Everyone has drama. Everyone should expect drama. Everyone should learn how to deal with drama. Develop an emergency plan, for both individuals and as a couple, so you can handle the drama when it occurs. Because it will.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. August 2, 2012 12:55 pm

    Thanks for publishing. You have offered very essential info which many people neglect.

  2. theswingwife permalink
    August 9, 2012 12:37 pm

    This is a great post! Lots of good tips, you guys are fast learners. Keep it up.

    • blinkspunk permalink*
      August 9, 2012 12:51 pm

      Blink here: Thank you! We’re trying. Some of these should be common decency/courtesy tips, but sometimes they are just forgotten. We’ve finally found a group of playmates that have all of these traits so now, playing is more fun!

      • August 9, 2012 12:57 pm

        Good for you guys! We have always found it interesting to watch how people show up to the local club. It is amazing how many need to do some updating to bring them into the ’90s (we live in Florida, the 90’s would be an improvement for some people)!

  3. August 17, 2012 12:50 pm

    got interested after reading this. thank you. such a good post. [Comment edited. Included junk header information ~Blink]

    • blinkspunk permalink*
      August 28, 2012 5:18 pm

      Thank you. Have fun and stay safe.

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