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Fuck or Make Love?

January 16, 2013

Couples_PhotoI had a playmate asked me this in advance once and it got me to thinking about what I really do like.  It isn’t so much that I hadn’t thought about it before, but I certainly hadn’t put it in those words. Over the first few months of swinging different situations happened that helped to mold what Blink and I like and don’t like about playtime with others. What’s the difference making love and fucking? It’s the difference between a hard/fast and soft/slow or sensual playtime. I prefer the slow/sensual love making, but do think that there is a time and place for hard fucking. What determines if I like to have sex (repeatedly) with a particular guy is whether or not he leans more towards one or the other. Those that rely on the hard/fast fucking for the majority of playtime may not get repeat action with me because it’s not fun and doesn’t get me wet.

Based on online profiles or things that people have said to me while we are out socializing with other swingers, I’ve come to realize that some couples believe that the soft and sensual should be reserved for their spouse only. I’ve come to realize that the number one thing a guy can do to even get me thinking about having sex with him is to show interest in me. Yep, that’s right! Good old fashioned flirting. And when a guy is sensual during playtime that also shows me that there is an interest – that I turn him on. I want to know that he sees me as more then a means to an orgasmic end.

One of the things that Blink enjoys about sex is finding out what buttons to push that make the one he’s with squirm in ecstasy. I love that! I love when the guy takes an interest in my pleasure, and to me, that’s what is fun about sex. I love to touch, feel, hold, kiss, and find out what makes my sex partner rocket to the moon and stars beyond.

If you are someone that simply enjoys that hard and fast fucking every time you have sex, I’d love to hear why that’s an attraction for you. And there is no judgement here. Everyone likes what they like – that’s what makes us all unique in our own  way. If we were all the same, what a boring world this would be 🙂

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Average Guy permalink
    January 21, 2013 10:53 am

    “Making love is what a woman thinks while you are fucking her.” To me the difference between making love and fucking is really only a difference in the words used to describe an activity…sex. I do find that the mindset that accompanies each differs though…making love does conjure up slow and sensual whereas fucking is harder, faster…more animalistic.
    A guy sees a woman dancing in a bar and says to his friend, “I’d love to fuck her” That is exactly what he would like to do. He is objectifying her and doesn’t know (and maybe doesn’t want to) know anything more about her. If in the future they were dating and there was more romance involved then I could assume they might be making love as well.
    My first wife was totally against any sort of “bad” words being used to describe sex of any kind and she was incredibly boring in bed. My current wife is quite graphic in her descriptions of sex (she almost always refers to sex as fucking) and she is incredibly open in bed.
    Personally, I like the idea of fucking over making love BUT it means nothing other than the way I perceive the wording. Certain words excite me more than others but the actual act of sex would not vary…I think especially considering that I have one partner. When talking about multiple partners (with each with a different level or type of connection) things might be different.
    For me, sex with my wife is pretty much the same (sounds boring but not so) and tends to be more towards fucking than love-making. The important thing is that we are both on the same page…regardless of what you wish to call it.

    • January 21, 2013 11:58 am

      Thank you for your answer! I agree that as long as you’re on the same page as the other person the world is a better place. In terms of swinging, though, I find that time constraints, attractiveness, and many other factors can play into why the quick, hard pace is played out more often then slow love making. I’m not saying that I always like it slow, but I do appreciate a few tender moments thrown in there. The quicker the act the easier it is for me to forget that it even happened.

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